the Jocks vs the Barbie Dolls by teriyaki18

Title : the Jocks vs the Barbie Dolls
Author : teriyaki18
Link : http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/teriyaki183/
Reviewed by Kee @ WonderfulxMemories

Title: 3/5
It wasn’t really intriguing because from there, I could tell it was another Kingka-Queenka thing. It did, though, connected with the storyline.

Poster/Background/Appearance: 5/10
It was nice that you made an effor t to make it yourself but you could have blended it better. The background didn’t mix well with the story and the poster but I had no trouble reading though.

Forewords: 3/10
It didn’t lure me to click on the next button.

Plot: 7/15
Common plot; nothing new but I like how the girls love basketball LOL

Characterization: 3/10
Is this an application fic or not? Its not clear to me.

That was my main question during reading through your fic. At first, I noticed you were introducing the Barbie dolls but then as I read on, you leaned more towards JM. It was JM this, JM that; JM supergirl and etc etc. I mean; if this WERE an application fic, you should give your appliers more justice.

All in all, JM was easy to connect to. The others were so-so since they don’t really ‘shine’ round JM much.

Creativity/Originality: 7/10
As I said, the girls loving basketball was something unexpected. Usually, people would put maybe one or two of the princesses (queenkas) as the sport lover type so I was pleasently surprised when you I read all the girls has true passion for basketball. The twists were okay.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 6/10
You tend to misplace your tenses. Instead of putting [‘s] in most words, why don’t you put… for example;

woman’s = woman was.
she’s = she is.

Flow: 4/10
A litte fast but it was still at minimum rate.

Writing Style: 5/15
It was so-so. At times, I could have predicted most of the storyline and at times, I just wanted to stop clicking the next button.

Overall Enjoyment: 3/5
I could predict most of it so it wasn’t really that much of a surprise. It was a good try though cause I gasped and laughed at some parts.

Total: 46/100

Bonus: -/5

Overall Total: 46/100

D i f f e r e n t F r o m T h e R e s t by Tylene

Title : D I f f e r e n t F r o m T h e R e s t
Author : Tylene
Link: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/Tiena/
Reviewed by Mickey @ WonderfulxMemories

Title: 4/5
`The title went really well with the story.

Poster/Background/Appearance: 5/10
`I know you have a poster for your story, but since it says “This image or video has been moved or deleted” You should fix your poster. Although, the color of the story is a little but bright. I had to highlight the words to read them. Try using a bit of a darker color.

Forewords: 8/10
`I could say the forewords was okay, not outstanding, but understandable. It had a little bit of a summary and all the characters. It was nice to know what this story was going to be about and learn about the characters beforehand.

Plot: 13/15
`This plot was really different from what I read. This was somewhat unique and not a lot of stories on wangling are like this.

Characterization: 7/10
`I have to say, this section was pretty poorly done. I wasn’t able to figure out anything. Try to put in more descriptions about them. The readers would want to picture the characters in their mind while reading.

Creativity/Originality: 8/10
`Like I said before, I haven`t read any kind of plots like this. It was interesting in a way, but also seemed like a story that you could see in a fantasy movie or something.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 6/10
`I spotted quite a few grammar and spelling errors. I know that not everyone is perfect, and no one spends their time reading over and over again before posting, because we all make mistakes. But try proofreading at least once before posting. You should also capitalize what needs to be.

Flow: 2/10
`The flow for this story was just wow. It jumped from place to place without you explaining what really happened. Also, I thought that the flow was going really fast.

Writing Style: 10/15
`I didn`t have much trouble with your writing style, except that it didn’t have much description in the writing. It seemed like you were rushing on your writing.

Overall Enjoyment: 2/5
`Honestly, I didn’t really enjoy this. It wasn’t outstanding or anything.

Total: 65/100

Bonus: -/5

Overall Total: 65/100

ROMANTIC- -My Gift to You by TaeMin<3

Title: ROMANTIC- -My Gift to You
Author: TaeMin<3
Story URL: http://winglin.net/fanfic/romantic_gift/
Reviewed by RyoMaXMaSuke@WonderfulxMemories

Title: 3/5

- I somehow see the connection of the title to the story but it was just a smidge. The title was not that eye-catchy either.

Poster/Background/Appearance: 7/10

- The light in your poster was too bright so I can’t see the characters. Your background is okay but I think it’d be better if you’d change the text color into something darker because I highlighted while reading. But you made your own poster and background so points up for that.

Forewords: 5/10

- You didn’t put any forewords but it is an application story so I guess I’ll consider.

Plot: 10/15
- I’ve seen lots of plots like this before but there were several things that was in your fic that was unique and possibly out of this world. The plot was really well thought of. But there were some parts that the moments in a chapter repeat in another chapter. I suggest you avoid that because the story would turn out to be boring.

Characterization: 8 /10

- You delivered your characters really well. Their personalities were unique but were still like other persons. Their feelings were expressed really well in the story.

Creativity/Originality: 7/10

- Your creativity is over the top. The characters have great and exciting personalities. The story was well common but because of your awesome creativity, the story took a turn and it became unique.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 7/10

- The grammar mistakes, I spotted were unnoticable but you still need to work on that. There were several misspelled words. Your vocabulary is very fine but of course there is always room for more. All in all it was okay.

Flow: 5/10

- Your flow was very confusing. The pace of your story will go fast then it will slow down and then gradually become fast. You should try to keep a steady pace.. Some parts of the story weren’t need so that just slowed the story more.

Writing Style: 10 /15

- Your writing style is very different from others. It totally screams YOU. The sentences you wrote was very detailed so I had no problem visualizing the story, it was understandble but I think it would be better if you spaced it out. Do you get me?

For Example:

"Anddd welcome to Koffee with KARA!" Five girl voices sounded out. "Of course, you don't really get coffee..." Seung Yeon said. "And it's not really called 'Koffee with KARA.' It's actually 'Daredevil', M Net's new, supremely awesome game show!" Nicole added. "And today, we have very special guests." Gyuri said with a smile. "Let's welcome SM's SHINee and NYTe!" A doorway opened and the two bands stepped out, the VIP fans at the studio cheering. "Annyeong!" The ten of them greeted. "All right. The first thing we have on our agenda is a solo show. Doesn't have to be long and after that amazing performance last night, I'll bet some of these fans would LOVE a performance from one of you." Ha Ra squealed into the mic. JiIn decided that voice annoying, and tried her best not to cover her ears as the girl spoke. "To decide our soloist, a simple game will be played. Rock, paper, scissors!" Ji Young exclaimed, looking at them. TaeMin, unfortunately, lost. "Ooooo, the cute maknae of SHINee. TaeMin, what are you going to perform? Dancing, perhaps?" Nicole asked him, him grinning before replying to her. "I'm going to sing...Noona Neomu Yeppo..." He started, looking at Ji Young, who blushed. Music came on, and he started dancing towards her.

Edited:

“Andd welcome to Koffee with KARA!” Five girls’ voices sounded out.

“Of course, you don’t really get coffee…” Seung Yeon said.

“And it’s not really called ‘Koffee with KARA’, it’s actually ‘Daredevil’, M Net’s new supremely awesome game show!” Nicole added.

“And today, we have very special guests.” Gyuri said with a smile. “Let’s welcome SM’s SHINee NYTe!”

A doorway opened and the two bands stepped out, the VIP fans at the studio cheering.

“Annyeong!” the ten of them greeted.

“All right. The first thing we have on out agenda is a solo show. Doesn’t have to be long and after that amazing performance last night, I’ll bet some of these fans would LOVE a performance from one of you.” Ha Ra squealed into the mic. JiIn decided that voice annoying, and tried her best not to cover her ears as the girl spoke.

“To decide out soloist, a simple game will be played. Rock, paper, scissors!” Ji Young exclaimed, looking at them.

TaeMin, unfortunately , lost.

“Ooooo, the cute maknae of SHINee. Taemin, what are you going to perform? Dancing perhaps?” Nicole asked him..

“I’m going to sing…Noona Neomu Yeppo…” He started, looking at Ji Young, who blushed.

Music came on and he started dancing towards her.

+

See its more understandble and neat.

Overall Enjoyment: 5/5

- I enjoyed it a lot and it was a great, great fanfiction.

Total: 67/100

Bonus: 5/5

- You interact with your readers a lot and I really admire you for creating such a story. [I could never do that.] Good Luck with your other stories!

Overall Total: 72/100

On and On by Pink Princess

Title : On and On
Author : Pink Princess
Link : http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/PinkPrincess11/
Reviewed by Joucy @ WonderfulxMemories

I’m kind of a harsh reviewer, so if this offended you in any way, I apologize in advance. Well, read on :].

Title: 5/5
Capitalizations were in correct places, and the title itself looked appealing.

Poster/Background/Appearance: 10/10
The poster’s AWESOME!

Forewords: 10/10
I think I’ll go in the corner and cry my eyes out. Lol your forewords was depressing! But anyway, your forewords was great! It made me want to continue with the story.

Plot: 10/15
The introduction and the ending was fine. Everything was relevant to the story, but I feel like this story was too cloudy. One unanswered question may not sound huge, but in stories, an unanswered question will bother the reader ‘till the end. What was the object that Yunho handed to Ri-In towards the end of the story? Was it an actual film/video that taped special memories of Ri-In and Junsu? Was it the “A Memorable Piece” book belonging to Junsu? Or was the “film” just a figure of speech?

Characterization: 3/10
From reading this fic, I found out that Junsu is a merry little dude that likes to smile and laugh a lot…and has a dolphin-like laugh. But I couldn’t get anything out of Ri-In and Yunho. Even with Junsu I couldn’t really physically picture him in my mind. You should describe your characters more, which you can do by showing the readers each character’s personality through imagery or dialogue.

Creativity/Originality: 5/10
This story seemed like just another one of those moody, poignant stories. There has been a lot of fics on winglin that portray someone dying from sickness with a loved one mourning afterwards.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 8/10
Your grammar and vocabulary was better than the average winglin writer, but I still found some grammatical mistakes here and there. There were also some sentences that had perfect grammar but didn‘t sound right, or would have sounded better if placed with better word choices.

Flow: 10/10
Not too fast, and not too slow.

Writing Style: 15/15
I had no problem with your writing style. It was interesting and stood out.

Overall Enjoyment: 3/5
I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t exactly enjoy it either. Your writing style was interesting, but the overall design of the story didn’t really captivate my interest. But, of course, this is only one opinion commenting on your story.

Total : 79/100

Bonus : 2/5
I can sense that you put effort into this fanfic. Therefore, bonus points will be awarded! Oh yea, once again, I’m sorry if this review offended you in any way. You’re welcome to correct any of my misunderstandings through email.

Overall Total : 81/100

The Boy Who Stole My HEART by tubbyGEN

Title: The Boy Who Stole My HEART
Author: tubbyGEN
Link: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/bigBANGlovex3/contents.shtml
Reviewed by Joucy @ WonderfulxMemories

Title: 3/5
I don’t know if ‘heart’ was intended to be completely capitalized, but if only the ‘h’ was capitalized, the title would seem more “professional”. The title also did not really catch my attention when I looked at it at first glance.

Poster/Background: 10/10
B-E-A-UTIFUL! Loved it. Ten out of ten :].

Forewords: 5/10
The forewords was short and sweet, and it got me thinking. But it didn’t really hook me into reading more further into the story. Maybe you could elaborate more - give it more details on what you’re trying to come across in your forewords.

Plot: 14/15
Scenes stayed relevant to the story. The ending was nice, since I like happy endings :].

Creativity/Originality: 12/15
Ri-In falls in love with the most perfect guy in school, Jaejoong. Eventually she falls for the guy who she absolutely hated in the beginning. This whole concept is quite common in stories. But instead of just sticking to this concept, you added in a bunch of affairs that made this clichéd main idea more interesting. For instance, Yumi popping into the story out of nowhere completely surprised me. Oh yea, and when Ri-In got into a coma (this is REALLY common in soap operas lol) you added in that scene where Eunhye comes back (which I never really expected to happen). In conclusion, you basically just balanced the clichéd love scenario with those interesting little snippets that no one thought were coming ;). I hope this makes sense =/.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 4/10
There were two most common mistakes that kept on repeating over and over and over again. 1) Capitalizing i’s. Make sure you capitalize every separate i. I’ve seen this in nearly every chapter. 2) Periods at the end. Some sentences just ended without a period, which made them look a bit naked.

The spelling was mediocre, but the vocabulary was dull. Add some spice into your words ;].

Flow: 8/10
Not too fast and not too slow. My only problem is that when you’re trying to explain what’s happening in a certain scene, you automatically get to the point rather than putting in more details and elaborating more on what’s happening. Your story is very straightforward.

Characterization: 9/10
I could grasp your main characters really well in this story. I really liked how you delved into Junsu’s character and slowly unfolded his inner personalities as the story progressed.

Writing Style: 7/10
I don’t really have a problem with your writing style, but I have read many fanfics that were written by authors who have extremely similar writing styles as you. Oh, and beware of grammatical errors.

Overall Enjoyment: 4/5
Honestly, I didn’t hate this fic, nor did I love it. It was so-so. But that’s just my statement. I’m sure there were many others that enjoyed your fic to the fullest, considering the comments people left you.

Total: 76/100

Bonus: 3/5
Sorry for giving you your review so late. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry…Man, that Super Junior song just pops into my head whenever I’m in a situation in need for apologizing. Anyway, part of the bonus points goes to Donghae! I was so happy that he got a part in the story. I lovveee him :].

Overall Total: 79/100

FROM TOKYO, WITH LOVE by cutterpillow

Title: FROM TOKYO, WITH LOVE
Author: cutterpillow
Link: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/FTWL/
Reviewer: Joucy @ WonderfulxMemories

Title: 3/5
Correct form of title: From Tokyo, with Love >> Looks more professional this way. I liked the title, though. It’s sweet and romantic :].

Poster/Background: 10/10
I really like the poster. It’s simple and nice. Even though you don’t have a background, I won’t count it against you. Backgrounds don’t really have a huge role in the plot of stories anyway.

Forewords: 4/10
Forewords are usually supposed to be brief previews to stories, but I feel like your forewords was a bit too brief. Maybe you can lengthen the summary and tell us more about the characters to spice up your forewords. Overall, it didn’t really catch my attention and seemed kind of plain.

Plot: 10/15
The plot seemed well-organized toward the ending of the story, but the beginning and the middle felt a little messy here and there.

Creativity/Originality: 4/15
I’ve seen this plot everywhere. A famous superstar goes to a different country to live a normal life, then he/she falls in love. Soon after the press finds out and things get complicated. This storyline is extremely common on winglin, and isn’t anything new.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocab: 5/15
I found lots of grammar mistakes, but then again English isn’t your first language and I noticed your apologies for having bad grammar at the end of each chapter. So, maybe I could help you out a bit by pointing out the biggest mistakes =].

Passage from story:
“just teach me what’s the difference of that?”
^ capitalize the first letter at the beginning of quotes. I saw quite a lot of these, so make sure you go through and recheck.

Passage:
After 30 minutes of waiting, Ellie finally came. They didn’t go to their work, they just stay at Ellie’s condo and eat dinner. She felt peculiar as Ryo is quiet.

I fuss a lot on having stories stay in the same tense, whether it may be past, present, or future. The sentence above has two tenses going on: past and present. If you want it all in past tense then it would be: “After 30 minutes of waiting, Ellie finally came. They didn’t go to their work, they just stayed at Ellie’s condo and ate dinner. She felt peculiar as Ryo was quiet.” So yea! Keep the scenes in your story in one tense =].

There were also some misspellings here and there, so beware of those.

Flow: 8/10
One part that seemed to go really fast for me was when Ryo and Ellie started to develop feelings for each other just a few days after they met. If you waited a few chapters until the “kiss” occurred, then the flow would have been perfect. But after that, the road went smooth although there may have been some bumps here and there. The flow wasn’t totally balanced, but it wasn’t so bad either.

Characterization: 10/10
I’m glad you didn’t post a character chart in your forewords that immediately told the readers what each character is like, which is what most winglin writers tend to do. Instead you slowly unfolded everyone’s personalities as the story progressed. I think that is one of the main points that makes up a good story =).

Writing Style: 7/10
Excluding the grammar, I didn’t have a problem with your writing style, but it wasn’t the most unique one out there.

Overall Enjoyment: 3/5
My enjoyment falls in between. The story was mediocre.

Total: 64/100

Bonus: 2/5
I liked the theme song. I put it on my itunes =]. Ooh, just an extra note: Sorry if this review offended you. I’m kind of a harsh criticizer.

Overall Total: 66/100

No Way Out by ChristAineXtinev

Title : No Way Out
Author : ChristAineXtine
Link : http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/CX_08/
Reviewer : Joucy @ WonderfulxMemories

Title: 4/5
Your title was relevant to your story, and you capitalized all the letters. Kudos to that! But I feel like this title is a bit too common for fics, and it didn’t catch me on first glance.

Poster/Background: 10/10
Pretty pretty =]. I don’t really grade this portion, because the appearance shouldn’t have any affect on the story. Like what the meddlesome elementary school librarians say, don’t judge a book by its cover ;).

Forewords: 5/10
As soon as I read the forewords, I wanted to press the backspace to read a different fic. It didn’t really hook me, and I already got the whole gist of the story before reading it.

Plot: 8/15
Not the best plot I would come across, but the overall course of your story went well. None of the scenes went off guard neither were any of them totally irrelevant towards the chronology.

Creativity/Originality: 6/15
The concept of a woman forced into a marriage with an aggressive man is quite common. I think I’ve read two other stories relating to this story’s idea.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 6/10
The grammar wasn’t too bad, but I noticed some missing punctuations here and there. The story also kept on reverting from past tense to present and vice versa, which made it kind of bothersome to read. Your vocabulary was too simple and straightforward. Beware of grammar mistakes, and try to spice up your word choice.

Flow: 9/10
Your story maintained its pace, and it did not end abruptly. Not bad, not bad.

Characterization: 5/10
By reading your story, I found out that Baron is an aggressive man who reminds me of Hitler. But for the two main characters, I couldn’t really grasp their personalities besides the fact that Ella is a bit on the vulnerable side and Chun still really likes Ella. Maybe you could elaborate more on their appearance, the way they view their surroundings, their likes and dislikes, etc…

Writing Style: 10/10
I liked your writing style, and I had no problem with it. Just be aware of the grammatical mistakes =).

Overall Enjoyment: 3/5
Honestly, this fic did not keep me interested. The intro didn’t hook me, I spotted a few grammatical errors here and there, and the story was a bit predictable.

Total: 66/100

Bonus: 0/5

Overall Total: 66/100

a Promise to Remember by mcmpsly7

Title : a Promise to Remember
Author : mcmpsly7
Link : http://www.soompi.com/forums/index.php?s=7b6b0f138ca3325e5e8acac88dc217d6&showtopic=276577&st=0&p=12559091&#entry12559091
Reviewed by Keerain @ WonderfulxMemories

Title: 4/5
I like it. It has a sweet ring to it. It does, though, sound common.

Poster/Background/Appearance: 8/10
The poster is awesome and the whole article gives off a soft ambience. I do wish you would change your font size because I had to stick my face in front of my laptop screen to read; tiny fonts and poor eyes don’t go well.

Forewords: 8/10
Its well-written but somehow I felt like it needed more ‘umph’. Its allring but not intriguing enough.

Plot: 13/15
I say its cliché. Long-lost love, separated and re-united but he/she is engaged and yada yada. HOWEVER, you are very very smart; The twists you made were new albeit some scenes were kind of common.

Characterization: 10/10
You never fail to amaze me ^^ TOTALLY AWESOME! At first, I couldn’t really get the whole hyunjin and jinjae thing but as I read on, I started loving them by how you wrote them. <3

Creativity/Originality: 10/10
LUBBBEEELEEH! Like I said, your twists were new and original. I love everyone and everything ^^

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 9.5/10
I spotted only speck of dusts on this. There were some but they were almost invincible.

Flow: 10/10
It was awesome ^^

Writing Style: 15/15
I’m starting to fall for yours LOL it is captivating, in a way. What makes it morefun to read are the unexpected scenes and quirks <3

Overall Enjoyment: 5/5
From all jinjae’s dorkiness to buyoung’s self and to hyunjin’s feelings and to heerin’s personality;

From the happy moments where hyunjin and buyoung meets to the moments where she confessed and to all the heartbreaking moments where jinjae found out;

I think you know what I’m trying to say; I’m totally in love with this XD

PM ME HOMGSH!

Total : 92.5/100

Bonus : 2/5

Overall Total : 94.5

B A D Boys N E X T Exit by Mcmpsly7

Title : B A D Boys N E X T Exit
Author : Mcmpsly7
Link : http://www.soompi.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=283957&st=0&p=12959159&#entry12959159
Reviewed by Keerain @ WonderfulxMemories

Title: 5/5
I didn’t really get it but I liked it ^^ it has a nice ring to it and it somehow connected with the whole storyline. Oh, and it is definitely alluring!

Poster/Background/Appearance: 2/10
I don’t like it -_- Was it supposed to be a character chart? The poster looks stuffy and rushed.

Forewords: 10/10
Its witty, fun and nicely done! It made me want to read more. You gave me a preview of what the story’s going to be about, you told me beforehand the connections between the two high-school s and how your main character relates to all of this. Nice job!

Plot: 13/15
Its refreshing ^^ Usually, I would say bleckh to cliché high-school-feud dramas but your story is refreshing! I love the twists you inserted in the storyline though some scenes are quite typical for this type of plots.

Characterization: 10/10
TEN! You defined each and every one of your character’s profile to me. I connected with them easily and fell in love with everyone ROFL (mom and dad included XD)

Creativity/Originality: 10/10
Your twists are so lovable! You are very creative and I love how you made the plot into your OWN. Nice job ^^

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 7/10
I spotted a minute amount of grammar errors and few spelling errors. I would recommend more usage of bigger words because big words impress people ^^

Flow: 10/10
It was awesome.

Writing Style: 13/15
It is amusing and easy to understand. I love how witty your writing style is (judging from Mooya) and your quirks make my day ^^

Overall Enjoyment: 5/5
Five-stars, baby <3

Total: 85/100

Bonus: 5/5
I loved the quirks and fun ambience surrounding the storyline. Add me in your pm list XD
Its bubblepopes in soompi or do I have to post to het PM-ed? I don’t know how these things work either -_-

Overall Total: 90/100

Then End. by UnknownViet

Title : Then End.
Author : UnknownViet
Link : http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/end/
Reviewed by Keerain @ WonderfulxMemories.

Title: 5/5
I think the title is interesting and I would click on it if I saw it in the main index. It is relevant to the storyline and I personally favor it; the title has a nice ring plus it gives off a strong kind of vibe to me.

Poster/Background/Appearance: -/10
I won’t insert this into the evaluating system since you already told me you are still waiting for your request ^^

Forewords: 5/10
The forewords were a little packed. It would be nicer if you out spaces like normally. By doing this, you will also give the readers a bit more feel to the story. Avoid using just one whole paragraph for the forewords next time, okay? One big chunk is not pretty. It didn’t lure me to click the next button.

Plot: 14/15
I think it’s quite refreshing yet I think I feel like I’ve seen this kind of plot before. Nevertheless, I think it was capturing and made me want to scroll down as I read.

Characterization: 10/10
I love how your characters bloom with your writing. YOU defined them; you whispered to me their profiles. I kind of get why Miki wanted the break-up yet somehow it is still a mystery to me. Nice job in keeping the sentimentality there.

Creativity/Originality: 10/10
Your creativity blew me off my feet. I loved the whole idea, the whole storyline. I would elaborate more but my mind is blank at the moment.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 8/10
Your grammar was okay but you made lots of typing errors, my dear. It won’t hurt to actually edit your mistakes. Spelling mistakes are common but do try to minimize as they can ruin the mood of the story.

You could have used bigger words; there’s always room for knowledge.

Flow: 10/10
You gave me an ending, you handed me a start. The flow was okay but not great; just okay.

Writing Style: 14/15
It is neat and understandable. You are pretty descriptive but you can delve in deeper.

Overall Enjoyment: 5/5
I like fanfics that are readable. I enjoyed this piece very much ^^

Total: 81/90

Bonus: -/5
-

Overall Total: 81/90
• I think my review contradicts with demon goddess over there but from where I see it; you have potential and the fanfic was good enough.

2nd Chance by xdorkyx

Title : 2nd Chance
Author : xdorkyx
Link : http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/jinxtae/
Reviewed by Tinaher @ WonderfulxMemories
Title: 5/5
The title is new, and it appears to match the storyline!

Poster/Background/Appearance: 9/10
The poster and background is nice. The poster is cute, but then I think it could’ve been better. The background is overall cute!

Forewords: 10/10
Your foreword was great. There characters and a plot to it.

Plot: 14/15
Your plot was good, and I like it.

Characterization: 9/10
Your characterization is good. You told me who the characters were, and there are lots.

Creativity/Originality: 9/10
Your creativity is GOOD!

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 8/10
Your spelling, grammar, and vocabularies are great, but you had some mistakes, and you didn’t have your periods at the end, and I didn’t really understand if the sentenced ended or not.

Flow: 9/10
Your flow is going great.

Writing Style: 15/15
Your writing style is cool, and I enjoyed reading your kind of style with no periods at the end of each sentence.

Overall Enjoyment: 5/5
I enjoyed this story. It’s so cute!
Total: 92/100

Bonus: 5/5
Of course you’re getting the bonus points. I love your story, I am your new reader, and update soon! Cute story!

Overall Total: 97/100

Diary of An Ex-Stalker Fan by teriyaki18

Title : Diary of An Ex-Stalker Fan
Author : teriyaki18
Link : http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/tikka2/
Reviewer : Tinaher @ WonderfulxMemories

Title: 5/5
Nice title. It’s unique, and it’s really cool how it’s an “Ex”. Hehe..

Poster/Background/Appearance: 9/10
The poster and background is nice. It does show us who the ex-stalker is with a diary.

Forewords: 10/10
Your foreword was cute. I really like it how you started with a prologue. Knowing who the stalker in the beginning is great!

Plot: 15/15
Now your plot is awesome! I have never read a story like this before about an ex-stalker! Is great, and I like it!

Characterization: 10/10
Your characterization is great, but then you don’t really explain to us who they are. But even though you didn’t, I got a chance to know how cute they all acted.

Creativity/Originality: 10/10
Your creativity is GREAT!

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 10/10
Your spelling, grammar, and vocabularies are great. You had no mistakes, and an author always double checks, and you did right.

Flow: 9/10
Your flow is going great, but then I think it’s going a little bit too fast on how they both met again in the airplane, and then outside a place where the Wondergirls took Ara.

Writing Style: 15/15
Your writing style is NEAT! I understand every word, and you are really a great writer!

Overall Enjoyment: 5/5
I enjoyed this story. It’s so cute and funny! I understand how Ara feels when she says she’s over G-Dragon, and sees G-Dragon next to her makes her feel so happy and jumpy.

Total: 98/100

Bonus: 5/5
Of course you’re getting the bonus points. I love your story, I am your new reader, and update soon! Cute story!

Overall Total: 104/100

To Arron: MISS ME?? ~Your 300 lb. Ex-BFF by minniie

Title : To Arron: MISS ME?? ~Your 300 lb. Ex-BFF
Author : minniie
Link : http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/CuTiEhOnEy/
Reviewer : Tinaher @ WonderfulxMemories

Title 5/5
You title matched your story and I love it!

Poster/Background 10/10
Your poster and background was really cute and it matched the story perfectly!!

Forewords 10/10
Your foreword is fabulous! I love how your forewords! You talk about the characters and a summary which is great!

Plot 15/15
Your plot was so sad and good. It’s a good love story, and one that I had never read before. It’s the same like the movie 200 pounds beauty, but I love your story and the movie too!

Flow 10/10
Your flow went great, and I love your story how it went perfectly.

Writing Style 5/5
A great writer always checks twice on their spelling, and you are perfectly great at your writing style. You are really good with your writings, and I support you to write more like this!

Character Development 10/10
Your character development is great. It talked about the main ones, and it was great! It explained how the characters were like, and I hated Aaron Yan. He’s so mean. But overall, I love it.

Creativity/Originality 10/10
You are a creative person on writing about this story. It’s so good, and I love your creativity. Keep up the good work!

Grammar/Spelling/Vocabularies 10/10
Your grammar and spelling was all perfect. Are you a pro at this? Haha. You really are going to be one good writer one day.

Overall Enjoyment 10/10
I enjoyed reading this story, and I know everyone did too! I envy your work! I wish you to work more like this!

Bonus Point 5/5
I will give you all the 5 points you deserved. I love your story lots, and it made me cry badly. Your story ROCKS!

Total: 100/100

I love your story lots, and I wish you write more! I am your new reader, and please do write more like this!

Shuttering by bluemonkiesx~

Title : Shuttering
Author : bluemonkiesx~
Link : http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/stuttering/
Reviewer : Tinaher @ WonderfulxMemories

Title 5/5
Your title was interesting, it matched the story how Seung Ri was stuttering. It was really nice.

Poster/Background 8/10
Your poster and background is ok. You could’ve gotten a background to match the poster. But it’s alright, I still like it.

Forewords 9/10
Your foreword was great. It started out about how much you like a person, and you just don’t know how to tell the person, then you continued it by telling us who are your pairings in the story. That’s what I look for in the forewords.

Plot 15/15
Your plot was great. It went smooth, and it had great details. I love it a lot when it comes to Yaoi stories. Your Yaoi story is a one of kind.

Flow 10/10
The flow was great. It wasn’t too fast, but then it talked about the person’s point of view. I like it.

Writing Style 5/5
Your writing style is neat. I had a good time reading and understanding your story.

Character Development 9/10
Your character development was great. You talked about only the two pairing couples, and it was absolutely great.

Creativity/Originality 10/10
I love your creative mind. You have such good details to put in different point of views. I love it.

Grammar/Spelling/Vocabularies 10/10
Your grammar, spelling, and vocabularies were awesome. No mistakes were made, and that’s a great writer you are.

Overall Enjoyment 10/10
I enjoyed your story a lot. Yaoi are always my favorites, and I hope to read another one from you.

Bonus Point 5/5
You did a great job at writing this story. You deserve this bonus points. I enjoyed reading every bit of your chapter, and I am gladly your new reader! Update some more stories soon!

Total Points = 96/100

Dedicated by ctanonymous

Title : Dedicated (Valentine's Day Special - Completed OS)
Author : ctanonymous
Link : http://winglin.net/fanfic/ctanonymous_4/
Reviewer : Tinaher @ WonderfulxMemories

Title: 5/5
I love your title. It might not catch peoples’ eyes, but it caught mine, because your story is dedicated to love ones, and this story is pretty similar to my love life. LOLs.

Poster/Background: 10/10
Your poster and background ROCKS! I love it a lot, and it matches the poster!

Forewords: 10/10
Your foreword is fabulous! It explains who the characters were, and how you started explaining about Hebe being hurt was great!

Plot: 15/15 Your plot was so sad and good. It’s a good love story, and one that I had never read before. Your story really made me thought twice about my boyfriend and us. Love your story lots!

Flow: 9/10 The flow was fast. But it doesnn’t matter at all, because I loved it a lot! I just wished that you could have written this into a story.

Writing Style: 5/5
Your writing style was awesome. I understood every word, and it was remarkably GREAT!

Character Development: 10/10
Your character development is great. It talked about the two main ones and I liked it.

Creativity/Originality: 10/10
You are a creative person on writing about this story. It’s so good, and I love your creativity. Keep up the good work!

Grammar/Spelling/Vocabularies: 10/10
Your grammar and spelling was all perfect. Are you a pro at this? Haha. You really are going to be one good writer one day.

Overall Enjoyment: 10/10
I enjoyed reading this story, and I know everyone did too! I envy your work!

Bonus Point: 5/5
I will give you all the 5 points you deserved. I love your story lots, and it made me cry really bad. Your story ROCKS!

Total Points = 99/100

Labyrinth by TaeMin<3

Title: Labyrinth
Author: TaeMin<3
Link : http://winglin.net/fanfic/dark_labyrinth
Reviewed by Rin @ WonderfulxMemories

Title: -/5
Since this is a title for a challenge, I have no say in this area.

Poster/Background/Appearance: 10/10
The poster and background for your story is very well done. The colors aren't all over the place and they match the poster very well.

Forewords: 10/10
I like your forewords a lot because it's plain and simple. It isn't lacking any information and more information isn't needed. So good job. ;]

Plot: 10/15
At first I couldn't figure out what the plot of the story was but towards the end, I sort of got the point but still felt like there was more to it then just her crying at the fact that Taemin announced that he was going out with his girlfriend to the public. It seemed more like a cliffhanger than the end.

Characterization: 7/10
You did well on the characters but there wasn't enough of them you know? I felt like Taemin was mentioned once or twice even though he was one of the main characters but since it's a one-shot, there isn't much time to try to change any characters as quickly. But Yunni did seem to change because she was very bubbly at first then she became all sad and depressed.

Creativity/Originality: 8/10
This story was quite creative in it's own way. With her being a newbie actress getting to act with Big Bang, DBSK, and SHINee and everything. For a new actress she's very carefree because if I was new, I would be there on time but Yunni has a very perky personality which I like. The most overused scenarios in stories/movies is the fact that one person is just so in love with another person but they cannot tell them because they have a girlfriend/boyfriend. So I deducted points.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 10/10
I've spotted no spelling or grammar mistakes.

Flow: 7/10
The flow was a little rushed and not at a steady pace because you kept jumping back and forth. I was confused that you would talk about Yunni and then jump into another point of view where she is in this labyrinth. It threw me off because I thought there was more to it then you switch all of a sudden. But I did get the point of the little excerpt of the girl being in the labyrinth.

Writing Style: 10/15
I like your writing style but you didn't portray enough emotions and actions into the sentences. You only wrote dialogues but sometimes you didn't say who was actually speaking or what they were doing.

Overall Enjoyment: 5/5
I enjoyed reading it although it was very short. I still feel like I was left hanging when I completed your story but overall, your story was great.

Total: 77/95

Bonus: 5/5

Overall Total: 82/100

BoysBeforeFlowers 2 by MCL

Title : BoysBeforeFlowers 2
Author : MCL
Link : http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/PoisonedPen/
Reviewed by Mickey @ WonderfulxMemories

Title: 3/5
The title wasn’t anything special since it’s just a sequel to Boys Before Flowers. Although you should separate the words in between so it’s not just all stuck together.

Poster/Background/Appearance: 10/10
The poster is absolutely beautiful. Vrenille makes really nice posters. The poster went with the mood of the story and the colors didn’t bother my eyes at all.

Forewords: 5/10
Your forewords was boring and plain. Although with that, I liked how you explained the meaning of each question.

Plot: 8/15
The plot was exactly like the first Boys Before Flowers. I know that you’re trying to make it Boys Before Flowers 2, but it the plot just seemed the same as Boys Before Flowers, but with different places.

Characterization: 6/10
I’m pretty sure that you’re just going with the characteristics that they had in the drama, so I wasn’t all that confused about them. But you should add in some descriptions about the characters as well, just in case some readers didn’t watch the drama.

Creativity/Originality: 5/10
So far, this just seemed like a remake of the drama but with different places and a bit of new ideas. So there wasn’t much creativity and originality in this story.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 3/10
I spotted a lot of spelling and grammar mistakes. First of all, you don’t capitalize what needs to be capitalized. You don’t capitalize your I’s when its supposed to be. You should read over your chapters before posting them. I’m really picky at this section of the review.

Flow: 5/10
The flow seemed to go a bit fast for me. It just seemed to jump from place to place without you even explaining what happened.

Writing Style: 4/15
Your writing style was really hard to understand. When you’re writing, you shouldn’t put two people talking into one paragraph. That makes it even more confusing to understand. You should separate the dialogue between two people.
For example ;
You Wrote :
"What do you want?" Jun Pyo asked, "Uhhh, that one!" answered Jan Di pointing to the chocolate ice cream JunPyo said "Aish, didn't know that it's full of carbohydrates that will make you fat? stupid lady!" while poking Jan Di's head. then Jan Di angrily answered "Stupid? you call me stupid? you're the one stupid! it's not carbohydrates but calories!aish!!" then she hit Jun Pyo's legs with his feet causing Jun Pyo too shout "AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" the two of them continue arguing about ice creams flavors, the people who were in the cafe keep noticing them because on how they treat each other.

You could write it like :
“What do you want?” Jun Pyo asked.

“Uh, I want that one!” Jan Di answered, pointing to the chocolate ice cream.

Jun Pyo poked her head and then said, “Aish, don’t you know that it’s full of carbohydrates, which makes you fat?! Stupid lady!”

“Stupid? Your calling me stupid? You’re the one that’s stupid!” Jan Di said angrily, “It’s not carbohydrates but calories! Aish!”

She then hit Jun Pyo’s leg causing him to shout really loud. The two of them continued to argue about ice cream flavors, which made the people in the café stare at them because of how they treated each other.

You should make it like that instead of putting all that into one paragraph. It makes it easier to read and understand. Also, when people(or maybe just me) read stories like this, it makes them frustrated. Your writing style made me go, “UGH!”


Overall Enjoyment: 2/5
Honestly, no, I did not enjoy this one bit. It seemed messy and it wasn’t to my liking. As soon as I read the first chapter, I just wanted to skip to the ending.

Total: 51/100

Bonus: 2/5
I know this isn’t a nice score, but I just want to help you with your writing. I know this is a bad request, but please request from me again. Just so that I can see what changed and what didn’t. But it’s totally your choice. I’m not trying to be harsh or anything, but this is a review, and reviews are supposed to help the authors. (:

Overall Total: 53/100

Clementine by Faithhh

Title : Clementine
Author : Faithhh
Link : http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/spwtlz/
Reviewed by Mickey @ WonderfulxMemories

Title: 4/5
The title, I’m not if it was a given title for the challenge so don’t really want to say anything.
But it did catch my eye. It was plain because it’s just one word but it wasn’t like a boring one-word.

Poster/Background/Appearance: 9/10
The poster seemed plain but it was nicely done. The mood and everything seemed to sink in with the story.

Forewords: 4/10
Your forewords was really boring. It didn’t have anything but the characters. But since it’s a one-shot, I guess that’s fine.

Plot: 10/15
The part with the accident was and is still used in a lot of stories. But I like you started out at an airport and not at like a park, house, or someone just being lost outside. Because usually when I read stories, the beginning is like two little kids meet at a park but then either the girl or guy has to leave. You know what I mean?

Characterization: 5/10
Wasn’t able to tell much about the characters. You focused more on the story line instead of the characterization, which is a good thing, but it’s nice to know some things about the characters as well. Just so we get into them.

Creativity/Originality: 8/10
The only thing that seemed different from other stories was the part with the airport. It was nicely done. Also the graduation part, it’s always that one of the two don’t remember later on something pops up that makes them remember, and in this case, it was the e-mail. I don’t think it had much creativity/originality.


Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 10/10
I didn’t notice any spelling/grammar mistakes. Everything seemed spelling free.
Any of the spelling or grammar didn’t seem to bother that much.

Flow: 8/10
The flow seemed to go at a right pace, but I also felt like it went by really fast. After the graduation part, everything seemed to go fast for me.

Writing Style: 15/15
I absolutely loved your writing style. I know it was only single lines so it seems like there wouldn’t be much description but it was clearly explained. I didn’t have much problems not understanding what you were writing about.

Overall Enjoyment: 4/5
I can’t say I didn’t enjoy it and I can’t say I enjoyed it. But it’s pretty much in the middle. It wasn’t so boring that it made me go, “UGH. I want to finish this as soon as possible” or “I love this story ! I wish there was a sequel to it”

Total: 77/100

Bonus: 4/5
Your story was nicely done and I enjoyed it. It seemed like your put a lot of work into it ^^

Overall Total: 81/100