ROMANTIC- -My Gift to You by TaeMin<3

Title: ROMANTIC- -My Gift to You
Author: TaeMin<3
Story URL: http://winglin.net/fanfic/romantic_gift/
Reviewed by RyoMaXMaSuke@WonderfulxMemories

Title: 3/5

- I somehow see the connection of the title to the story but it was just a smidge. The title was not that eye-catchy either.

Poster/Background/Appearance: 7/10

- The light in your poster was too bright so I can’t see the characters. Your background is okay but I think it’d be better if you’d change the text color into something darker because I highlighted while reading. But you made your own poster and background so points up for that.

Forewords: 5/10

- You didn’t put any forewords but it is an application story so I guess I’ll consider.

Plot: 10/15
- I’ve seen lots of plots like this before but there were several things that was in your fic that was unique and possibly out of this world. The plot was really well thought of. But there were some parts that the moments in a chapter repeat in another chapter. I suggest you avoid that because the story would turn out to be boring.

Characterization: 8 /10

- You delivered your characters really well. Their personalities were unique but were still like other persons. Their feelings were expressed really well in the story.

Creativity/Originality: 7/10

- Your creativity is over the top. The characters have great and exciting personalities. The story was well common but because of your awesome creativity, the story took a turn and it became unique.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 7/10

- The grammar mistakes, I spotted were unnoticable but you still need to work on that. There were several misspelled words. Your vocabulary is very fine but of course there is always room for more. All in all it was okay.

Flow: 5/10

- Your flow was very confusing. The pace of your story will go fast then it will slow down and then gradually become fast. You should try to keep a steady pace.. Some parts of the story weren’t need so that just slowed the story more.

Writing Style: 10 /15

- Your writing style is very different from others. It totally screams YOU. The sentences you wrote was very detailed so I had no problem visualizing the story, it was understandble but I think it would be better if you spaced it out. Do you get me?

For Example:

"Anddd welcome to Koffee with KARA!" Five girl voices sounded out. "Of course, you don't really get coffee..." Seung Yeon said. "And it's not really called 'Koffee with KARA.' It's actually 'Daredevil', M Net's new, supremely awesome game show!" Nicole added. "And today, we have very special guests." Gyuri said with a smile. "Let's welcome SM's SHINee and NYTe!" A doorway opened and the two bands stepped out, the VIP fans at the studio cheering. "Annyeong!" The ten of them greeted. "All right. The first thing we have on our agenda is a solo show. Doesn't have to be long and after that amazing performance last night, I'll bet some of these fans would LOVE a performance from one of you." Ha Ra squealed into the mic. JiIn decided that voice annoying, and tried her best not to cover her ears as the girl spoke. "To decide our soloist, a simple game will be played. Rock, paper, scissors!" Ji Young exclaimed, looking at them. TaeMin, unfortunately, lost. "Ooooo, the cute maknae of SHINee. TaeMin, what are you going to perform? Dancing, perhaps?" Nicole asked him, him grinning before replying to her. "I'm going to sing...Noona Neomu Yeppo..." He started, looking at Ji Young, who blushed. Music came on, and he started dancing towards her.

Edited:

“Andd welcome to Koffee with KARA!” Five girls’ voices sounded out.

“Of course, you don’t really get coffee…” Seung Yeon said.

“And it’s not really called ‘Koffee with KARA’, it’s actually ‘Daredevil’, M Net’s new supremely awesome game show!” Nicole added.

“And today, we have very special guests.” Gyuri said with a smile. “Let’s welcome SM’s SHINee NYTe!”

A doorway opened and the two bands stepped out, the VIP fans at the studio cheering.

“Annyeong!” the ten of them greeted.

“All right. The first thing we have on out agenda is a solo show. Doesn’t have to be long and after that amazing performance last night, I’ll bet some of these fans would LOVE a performance from one of you.” Ha Ra squealed into the mic. JiIn decided that voice annoying, and tried her best not to cover her ears as the girl spoke.

“To decide out soloist, a simple game will be played. Rock, paper, scissors!” Ji Young exclaimed, looking at them.

TaeMin, unfortunately , lost.

“Ooooo, the cute maknae of SHINee. Taemin, what are you going to perform? Dancing perhaps?” Nicole asked him..

“I’m going to sing…Noona Neomu Yeppo…” He started, looking at Ji Young, who blushed.

Music came on and he started dancing towards her.

+

See its more understandble and neat.

Overall Enjoyment: 5/5

- I enjoyed it a lot and it was a great, great fanfiction.

Total: 67/100

Bonus: 5/5

- You interact with your readers a lot and I really admire you for creating such a story. [I could never do that.] Good Luck with your other stories!

Overall Total: 72/100