Fall for you by YoonHee

Title: Fall for You
Author: YoonHee
Link: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/Minty/chapter_6.shtml
Reviewer: Lyselmae Atienza @ WXM



`Story Title: 3/5

Yes, I liked your title. It was captivating, yet simple. The problem I had with your title was that it didn’t have much of a connection with the actual one-shot, therefore it became confusing. Please do remember that the title basically summarizes the whole story into one. One suggestion I have for you is to write the one-shot first, and after writing it, make up a title that you think is relevant for the story. This helps a lot because you are free without any restrictions.



`Appearance: 6/10

When I first opened the link, I wasn’t too appealed. There was no poster/bg which usually makes the fanfic more eye-catchy. It seemed a bit organized though.


`Forewords: 3/10

There was particularly anything in the forewords about this one-shot except for the characters. AGAIN, take your time to organize everything. Maybe, you can make a small portion in the forewords for each OS you make.


`Plot: 8/15

The plot was all over the place. I didn’t understand where one event came from and another. Please do organize the events in your story. I didn’t quite understand the whole story since it went by TOO fast. It seemed to be an account instead of a story.


`Characterization: 8/10

Since this was a requested one-shot, I have no right to mark you on the choice of characters. The problem you encountered was that you weren’t able to portray the personalities of the characters well enough. In order for the readers to be able to understand and learn more about the characters, you must show them the real characteristics of the starring artists.


`Creativity/Originality: 6/10

Everything happened too fast for you to be able to add your own creativity. Concerning your originality, I think this is pretty original… Again, please take things slowly for you to be able to add more intense scenes and add more interest in the story.


`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 6/10

Here, everything was all over the place. You hadn’t reached my expectations. The MAIN thing I want you to improve on is RECHECKING, REREADING, and REEDITING. Spelling; you tend to make mistakes due to lack of re-reading your stories after completion. Yes, it is obvious due to the constant mistakes. Grammar; your grammar would’ve been good if you had organized your tenses. In some cases you were writing in the past tense, but you immediately changed into present which was not good. Remember to stay on one tense. Vocabulary; your precision of words were rather normal and alright. I had no problems. Just keep in mind to NOT repeat words/phrases in one sentence, alright?


`Flow: 5/10

The flow was too fast. Do lengthen the story so readers can enjoy ;)


`Writing Style[: 11/15

Your writing style was simple. I didn’t have much of a problem with it than I usually do with scripts. Do maintain this.


`Overall Enjoyment: 2/5

It was alright :)


`Total : 55/100

`Bonus : 4/5
I’m sorry for the wait :S & Sorry for being strict on you. I sure hope you take my suggestions into consideration :)

Overall Total: 59/100