You Belong With Me by Phurplle/YooSun

Title : You Belong With Me
Author : Phurplle/YooSun
Link : http://soeul.tsuyamono.net/fanfic/viewstory.php?sid=285
Reviewed by Kiyoko @ WonderfulxMemories

*Please don’t take it personally; I am just sharing my opinion on your story and helping you improve on your writing. Hope I’m not too harsh or strict.

`Story Title[did it catch my attention?] : 3/5
The title pretty much caught my attention, but since there was some titles like that, it made me think it’s another romance-comedy-drama story. But, it did tie into the story well.

`Appearance[what was my first impression? Did it catch my attention?] : -/10
Well, since this isn’t on winglin, I’ll not count the points for appearance.

`Forewords[did your forewords make me wanting to read more?] : -/10
I won’t give you points for the forewords too since there wasn’t a forewords chapter.


`Plot[was the plot cliche or was it interesting?] : 12/15
I didn’t really get the plot because I didn’t know what the plot was. But as I read on the plot was about two siblings but they’re not blood related. I did read some plots like this, but this seems a little bit different, since it has F4(:


`Characterization[was I able to learn about the characters?] : 8/10
I love how you introduce the characters with their POV. Like in the first two chapters I can know about their background and how their personality is.


`Creativity/Originality[was it creative?] : 7/10
Your originality was lacking a little since I saw many stories with this kind of plot, with the whole brother-sister thing and the love triangle, but your creativity kind of made it a little different than others.


`Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary[was I able to understand what you were trying to say?] : 7/10
There was some mistakes , but they weren’t distracting. While you’re making a character say something, at least put who was saying it, some people can get confused on who’s saying a part. Also, you kept using he and she in your chapters a little too much. If you can, try using more of the character’s name in it so people won’t be wondering: Who’s saying which part?


`Flow[was it too fast or too slow to my liking?] : 8/10
Your flow is pretty smooth, but at some parts it gets slow or fast. So try balancing the flowing of the story. Don’t skip to one event then another without an ending of the event.

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`Writing Style[did your writing style make it easy for me to read?] : 11/15
Your writing style was easy for me to read, but you don’t have to make big spaces between lines on what the characters are saying. You can just skip one to two lines to start a new line than making a big space between the sayings. You could also put some sentences into a paragraph than putting one line then skip a line, then put another saying. Like in Chapter 4, you can put sentences together to make a paragraph.


`Overall Enjoyment[did I enjoy this story?] : 4/5
I really like your story(: It made me laugh and squeal on parts of Yi Jung and So Eun. And Tiffany in it! Omo! So much good stars in this story!(:


`Total : 60/100

`Bonus : 5/5
Your story needs improvements at points, but you still did a good job on the story(: Keep going with that story!


Overall Total: 65/100

*Don't worry.The reason why you got this total because your story isn't on winglin,where you have a poster/background and a forewords chapter, and since your site is different, that's why.But you still did a good job(: